Being Close to Yourself*
Yoga is the practice of being close to yourself,
No matter what is happening within or around you.*
By Elana Brower
I’ve walked through the Kripalu Café 5,000-trillion times on my way hither and skitter, here and there, over the years. I’ve seen this sign, a simple quote by Elana Brower, beautifully illustrated on the wall. I’ve considered it—I guess—I’ve noticed it—probably. But today? Today I saw it.
Today, it stopped me in my tracks. Halfway down the hallway, I reversed course, headed back, took its picture. And stood there.
Being close to yourself.
No matter what.
That was morning. Now it’s now, the afternoon. I’m presently snickering with myself, a few hours of procrastination later. Truth be told, I don’t want to be close enough to myself in order to even write this damn blog!
I’m tired and I’m cranky. The dog ate a chicken bone. All is well, eventually. Inevitably. Yes, we cut our anniversary vacation short by two days. Yes, we did. Yes, it was the right decision. Yes, I was up a few nights without much sleep, first with worry, then with actually dog-needing-to-go-out-no-matter-the-time-of-night. And yes, I am super-conflicted about the dog-sitter who was “on duty” during the chicken-bone-debacle.
But being close to my crankiness? Being close to my exhaustion? My disappointment? My fear? My conflicts?
In this moment, I’m not a massive fan of this idea. It’s not a big yes. But I am committed. I am committed to being close to myself, because I believe: I get exactly what I need to grow and to become more of who I really am.
I believe that deeply. It gives me the courage to keep going. It doesn’t take away my feelings, my exhaustion, my anxiety—but it keeps me moving through it.
Because we well know, damn it, the way out of It is through It.
~~~
The Power and the Practice of Presence?
How do we continue to live into this?
Kripalu Methodology of Riding the Waves of Sensation come to mind.
If you’ve been to Kripalu, you have probably heard about BRFWA, Riding the Waves.
Most importantly and not a strength of mine, is breathing. Notice how many times in a Kripalu yoga class the teacher encourages us “to breathe”. 9,763 times? The breath is the bridge from the mind back to the body. The breath has the capacity through the Vagal Nervous System, to literally shift gears, from fight/flight (Sympathetic Nervous System) to rest/and/digest (Parasympathetic)
If you don’t do anything aerobic or yoga, you can create breath as a prompt. At every red light, take three deep breaths. Or… if you regularly ride a train, every time the train comes into a station, take a few deep breaths. Create a prompt, using a consistent occurrence in your life that will remind you to practice breathing.
Relaxing—softening into the sensations, the feelings, rather than tensing against, constricting around, pushing away.
Swami Kripalu taught about the Nobility of Retreat, mindfully and consciously relaxing, softening.
What can you do today to practice the Nobility of Retreat?
I just had a delicious and helpful afternoon nap. It falls under The Nobility of Retreat.
Feeling—Yep, feelings are not the problem. Running from them, trying to control them, pulling them close, that’s the source of suffering, I believe. Let the feelings come. Let them go.
Pain is mandatory. Suffering is optional. This 12 Step saying has been helpful for me.
~~~
Do you practice being present with what is? If so, what does it look like? Be specific.
What are the obstacles that block you from being present?
Can any of the above ideas support you, as you commit to being present and alive, in your life?
Please consider.
~~~
Here is a beautiful video from Playing for Change, the extraordinary non-profit that draws musicians from all over the world together to create music. This is a tender one, with a few testimonies within it.
An oldie and a goodie, with deep meaning:
~~~
Folks, just for today—
Give us the willingness and the courage
To keep practicing.
Give us the willingness and the courage
To keep coming back
To the moment.
Give us the willingness and the courage
To appreciate what is,
To honor what was,
And
To imagine
What might be.
May all beings benefit from our time together.
All blessings,
Aruni
~~~
*Quote by Elena Brower, teacher, writer, speaker—