So Why Not Just Show Up?*
Maybe because I’m an old woman?
Maybe because I’m a Jew?
Maybe because I’m a lesbian?
Maybe because things are changing so quickly?
~~~
Wait. What?
Aruni, what?
This is so strange.
As I wrote these words, long before the title,
They seemed so rich and right.
But/and, as I sat here, I had no idea what to say next.
How do these four declarations open up into next thoughts?
I don’t know.
Maybe—what?
Maybe I needed to declare my self aloud.
This is me.
And so much more.
What does this all mean, Aruni?
But then, the title emerged.
Are the four sentences a response to the title?
These four proclamations—
THEY ARE REASON TO SHOW UP.
~~~
Which speaks to my interesting week,
In which I did my best to show up—
In this week I have had
Some fuzziness emerge,
Some erratic mood swings,
Along with
Some clear and alive moments.
You?
How was your week?
For me, —
Every human emotion
Came and went,
And came back,
Again.
Spring is springing—oh, a tad too slowly,
According to my clock.
The birds win first prize in my heart
For their dedication to life and its enjoyment.
Everything else?
Not so.
The tree budding is slow.
The daffodils, those brave ones, are center stage.
OH, good news from the Berkshires—
The forsythia is just beginning.
That gives my heart
A tiny tremble of hope.
~~~
Hope?
Grounds for believing that something good might happen.
I absolutely do believe that, for decades now,
As I look back upon what was unfolding
In different stages of my life,
Every single experience,
Especially the kick-ass ones,
Was followed
By more grace,
More support
And the
Next
Best
Moment.
Eventually and inevitably,
Good did emerge.
Roshi Joan Halifax, a personal hero,
Talks about wise hope.
Here is her short and fully digestible piece from Lion’s Roar.
Please check it out, I find her words, as always, so helpful.
So why not just show up,
She asks.
Good question.
~~~
Because it’s too scary?
Because it’s too hard?
Because I’m old?
NOPE.
None of those reasons stand.
Because being present in the moment
Is where life is happening.
In the moment
There is life,
Joy,
Love,
Connection.
Life happens in the moment.
Yes, there is suffering.
Yes, there is breakdown.
Yes, there is chaos.
Even more reason
To practice
Presence.
So let’s practice
Being present
With kindness.
Kindness for ourselves.
And from that platform of self,
May we offer kindness
To those people
Places
And
Things
Around
Us.
~~~
Thanks, Cat, for this powerful and soft song from Fia, the Swedish singer and songwriter, The Art of Letting Go.
Here it is, lovely and deep:
I love her first verse:
The more I struggle and fight
Trying to get it all right
I push away the very thing I want
Thinking it’s all up to me
Deciding how it will be
Forgetting that I am guided by the One
By the way,
WTF, America?
What is happening?
This is what I know to be true—
It’s time to practice.
It’s time to practice gently.
It’s time to see the beauty.
It’s time to speak the truth.
What about you, folks?
What is your practice
These days?
How are you taking care
Of yourself?
~~~
Dear Friends,
May we be healthy.
May we be present.
May we ride the waves
Of our lives.
May we live in peace
No matter what
We are given.
May all beings benefit from our shared words.
Stay blessed,
Aruni
*”So why not just show up,” asks Roshi Joan.