The Perfect Time for Coming Back

The Perfect Time for Coming Back

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Practice.  They said, practice.  They didn’t say—get it right and check it off the list.  What is this wacky human need we have to get finished, to be done, to be over it, for once and for f—ing all?

I feel too old to push myself in the same way.  Have I outlived my wacky willfulness?  To a degree?  A smidgen?  Even if a tiny degree, I accept!  I imagine, no, I’m positive, this is a victory.

Strange.  I feels, quite frankly, more spacious exhaustion rather than a confetti moment waiting to happen.  Funny, doing the right thing doesn’t always feel like one needs confetti.  Nevertheless, It’s a miracle, of course.  I have been the doer, the tap-dancer (not literally, folks—I’ll tell you about that some time.).  I have wiggled and wormed and danced around some core contradictions:

• See me.
• See me.
• No, just kidding.
• Don’t.
• Yes!
• Do.
• Love me.
• Please love me.
• Do you love me now?
• I can do more.
• Will you love me then?

I’m getting exhausted just thinking about it.  

Practice.  Lean in the direction of relaxation, Aruni (and anybody out there who would like to join this subgroup).  Notice.  Breathe.  Soften around whatever is happening in your body, in your mind, and around you.

Self-observation without judgment, dear Bapuji said.

Notice.  And any time, ANY TIME, in any moment, when we see the push, the tap dance reemerging, that is the perfect time to keep coming back. 

Come back to the breath.  To the affirmation.  To the sensations in your body.  To prayer.  To candle flame.

Come back to:

• To the red-winged blackbird.  
• To the squawking crows.  
• To the crystal in your pocket.  
• To your dog’s smile.
• To your touchstone.
• To the smell of the air.

Come back to grounding, to neutral.   Come back to self.  To you.  To a self-blessing.  To a tap on your heart.

Folks—we cannot possibly do this journey wrong, this moment, wrong, this decision, wrong.  THERE IS NO WRONG HERE.  There is only practice.  

Watching and noticing and realigning and blessing ourselves.

By the way, the perfect time is the moment in which you notice, and you are able.  

The perfect time is when you do it.  When you return home.

And there is no wrong time.  

~~~
Here is my meditation on The Perfect Time for Coming Back.