Dancing Together—Will & Surrender

Dancing Together—Will & Surrender

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On a scale of 1-10, I would rate myself 13.7 on the Spectrum of Willfulness.  I learned to:

• Do it.
• Do it well.
• Then do something else.
• Keep doing it.
• Then do the next thing.
• Hope that maybe someone will like me.
• Keep moving.
• Don’t stop.
• Make it happen.
• Hope that maybe someone will love me.
• Maybe not.
• Better keep moving.

It kind of worked.  For a while.  
Oh.  At great cost.

When I was active in my addictions, I believed I was living in some cool counter-culture, some anti-silent-majority, a matriarchy of radical change.  Actually, however, I was dulled and drugged and not a member of any community, yet alone the matriarchy, yet alone, a community of self.

My willfulness in those 20 years manifested as righteous indignation.  Railing against what was absolutely spun me around and around, a cyclone of one problem leading to the next, rather than part of any fragment of any solution.

Then it all changed.  
Getting sober.
Coming to Kripalu.
Blessed be.

During early ashram days, I entered a phase of premature surrender.  Positive that surrender was the evolved stance (and then people would love me), I prayed and hoped and practiced like wildfire, ignoring my human responses, denying my need to take action, surrendering without touching into my human self.  And bingo, same pattern.  Flip side of the coin of the above list.

• Do nothing.
• Have no preference.
• Have no response.
• Have no action.
• Surrender.
• And then they will love me.

Time passed.  
Somewhere wrapped into those years, I incrementally realized—

ohhhhh! 

The right use of will,
A posture of such maturity and evolution!

Will and surrender
Dancing together.

Take action.
Let go of the outcome.

Attend to your humanity.
Your needs, your preferences.
And let go. 

Suffice to say—
The interplay of will and surrender is at the heart of Kripalu Legacy Teachings
And offers an effective and comfortable platform for living.

~~~
Here is the most wonderous, the brilliant, the bright light, Leonard Cohen:

“If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will.

If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing.

From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing.

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well.

And to draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light.

In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will
If it be your will.”
~~~
And now, the song, If It Be Thy Will