Sometimes It Just Sucks

Sometimes It Just Sucks

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I’m a child of the ‘60’s.  In looking backward, way before, I can see pieces of me emerging, readying me for this moment.

I knew from early-on that life was I wasn’t okay, didn’t belong, that I didn’t feel safe.  The things that separated me from others, my stuttering, my wanting to kiss Leslie (the girl) Garber in the 6th grade, my obsession with  becoming a Royal Canadian Mountie and saving women in distress— were too scary.

They had to be hidden.  

I had to be hidden.

So, I hid.

I got on board the Choo-Choo-Train for Nice Jewish Girls.  I went to college.  I got a teaching degree.  I married a nice Jewish boy.  I did my best to make it look okay.

But I knew it wasn’t.  Not for me.  Not for a lot of people.

Somehow—the suffering of my separation made me acutely aware of other people’s suffering and separation.  Or maybe I just came into this world knowing that.  Maybe I’m one of those.

What to do?

I smoked a lot of pot in college.  Oh, wait, actually for several decades afterward, come to think of it.

I went to the Peace Corps after college, to my parents’ horrified terror.  Much happened—but did it help?  Did it matter?  Did it change things?

I taught in an inner-city high school for 16 years.  Again, much happened—but did it help?  Did it matter?  Did it change anything?

Thanking all lucky stars, I got sober.  And began to investigate myself.  Then, and only then did things begin to change.

Kripalu Center found me.  Taking a few programs over a year or so became a summer stay, which unfolded into a year’s residency.  That was 34 years ago.

I know it matters.  

Choosing to be a part of the solution matters.  

Choosing kindness matters.

Witnessing matters.

And sometimes it sucks.

The world!  Our glorious and beautiful world.  What the f?

Friends, what the f?

The normalizing of the absurdities around us—

The brutalizing of people without access to power—

The danger to children sitting at their desks at school—

The absurdities of this current political moment—

The abuse of people that are different—

Sometimes it sucks-beyond-sucks.

Oh, our collective and individual hearts.

~~~
Maybe it’s not about changing.
Maybe it’s about witnessing.
Being present for.
Watching.

And from that place of presence,
Then
Taking right action.

Letting go of the outcome,
Being present with what is…

Hum.
Sounds
Familiar.

~~~
Maybe it’s about community, our shared humanity.
Maybe it’s about taking care of ourselves and of each other.

Maybe it is individual healing merging into 
Collective liberation.

Maybe.
~~~
I have so much respect for Playing for Change and their Foundation.  I have shared their music videos with you over the years.  Here is some information about them:

Playing For Change is a multimedia music project, featuring musicians and singers from across the globe, co-founded in 2002 by American Grammy award-winning music producer/engineer and award-winning film director Mark Johnson and film producer/philanthropist Whitney Kroenke. Playing For Change also created in 2007 a separate non-profit called the Playing For Change Foundation, which builds music and art schools for children around the world.

Please experience their work through this video—see the communities that have emerged from their work: