“Sorrow Will Remain Faithful to Itself…”*

“Sorrow Will Remain Faithful to Itself…”*

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“Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.”

—John O’Donohue*

I look out the window.
The morning is shinny.
Clear air,
Clear blue,
Clear silence.

The beauty
Clutches
At
My
Heart.

The greens?
So very green.

The birds?
So very celebratory.

It is all
So stunning.
So alive.
So still.

And the children are dead.

~~~
What have we lost these past years?
So much—
So much.

So many of us.
So many people.

So many illusions.

So many systems
That appeared stable,
Crumbling before our eyes.

For this human,
For me,
The attacks on reality
Are excruciating,
Maddening,
Crazy-making.

They leave me
Backed into a corner,
Without a next step.
Without a next thought.

What have we lost
These past years?

The illusion of control.
The illusion that reality
Can be shared.

The birds celebrate
This beautiful moment.

And the children are dead.

It’s all true.
It’s all sacred.
It’s all inevitable.
~~~
John O’Donohue was an Irish poet, author, and priest. He was a native Irish speaker, and as an author is best known for popularizing Celtic spirituality.  

He was taken from us suddenly and far, far too soon, at the age of 52, in 2008.

His poem, “For Grief” holds for me such instruction and feeling, greeting me exactly where I am and encouraging my journey home.  He reminds us that grief can be a teacher, a guide, a blessing.

Here is the poem in its entirety.  This poem is my perfect teacher:

For Grief

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence.

Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And, when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

 ~~~
Please visit John O’Donohue’s site.  Listen to his voice.  I was blessed to be in a presentation of his at Kripalu a thousand years ago.  

I want to always remember his voice.