This Is About Prayer

This is about Prayer

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~~~

A bird
Named
Buzz
Taught
Me
How to pray.

She
taught me
How to be
In relationship
To reality.
~~~
Here is the story.

This is Buzz, my teacher.
She came to me in a dream.
I scooted her away.
After all, I was living in an ashram.

Who needs
To listen
To dreams?

Then she returned
In a mediation.
Most insistent,
Claiming her place
In my life.

This time
I listened.

And there she was.
At the pet store.
Waiting.
Tiny, 
A baby 
Fuzz-Thing.

She was Buzz. 

She took her place
In my world,
My ashram world,
With more ease
Then I had.

She sat on my shoulder
As we walked down
The long Kripalu halls,
Attending meetings,

Thrilling our
Animal-starved
Guests.

Together
We lived
Our ashram
Life.

(This was indeed
The older Kripalu.)

She attended
More meetings
Then any bird
Or person
Should.

She loved 
Chanting om
In the meetings.

Om sent her
Into what we called,
“big birdie syndrome”,

Wings extended,
Simulating flight,
Ready to 
Take off.

Or so it seemed.
~~~
One day around Thanksgiving
(100 years ago)
I was cutting her flight feathers,
An easy-enough thing.

She spread her wing
And blood smeared the wall.

I had hit a blood feather.

Rushing her
And me
To the vet,
Heart in throat,
Bird
In 
Carrier,

Intensity
Beyond
Intensity.

After cauterizing
The feather
The vet said,

“Keep her warm.
We’ll know
In the 
Morning
How 
She 
Does.”

Covering her
With 17 blankies,
Turning on
Every
Heater
I could
Allocate,

Weeping
And 
Praying,

I said,
“Goodnight.”

Turning off
The light
In our room,

I spent
Much 
Of that night
On 
The 
Floor
Of the bathroom.

Weeping,
Praying,
Mumbling.

I had learned
About prayer
In 12 Step Program.

“Pray only
For the
Knowledge
Of God’s 
Will for
You,
And
The
Power
To carry
It out.”

I’m a good girl,
Especially then.
I am committed 
To doing it
Right.

Especially then.

I’ll do it right.
And then 
Will you
Love me?

Praying for
Preference
Was inferior,
I did believe.

It was 
Flawed
I did believe.

I had struggled
To ask only for God’s will,

To be a good sober
Girl.

BUT IT HAD A PREFERENCE.
I HAD A PREFERENCE.
HOW HORRIDLY
WEAK
OF
ME
TO
HAVE
A
PREFERENCE.

And Buzz taught me that night.

She gave me the prayer that 
Said:

“Please, if it be Your Will,
Please let Buzzie live.

And give me
The courage
And
The willingness
To be present
With what is.”
~~~
Buzz the Bird
Taught me the value,
The righteousness
Of my own humanness,
Of my own preference.

She taught me
How to ask
For what I wanted
And
Needed 
And
Hoped 
For,

And then,
So importantly,
To surrender
Into 
What happens.

She taught me
About my relationship
To Spirit.

And—she taught me
How to begin
To accept
My humanness.
~~~
OH!
The end of story:

Next morning,
Opening her many
Cage coverings,
I was met
By a bird, 
My bird,
A teacher,
My teacher,
Buzz,
Who 
Looked
At me

And 
With clarity
And Commitment,
She said,
“Pretty bird.”

(The full content
Of her 
vocabulary.)

She was beyond fine.
She lived many years
As a happy Kripalu ashram resident.
As a commuting Kripalu employee.
As a suburban animal companion,
Living at home,
Watching the world
Out her window.

Buzzie
Taught me.

She
Taught me
Among 100
Other
Things,

How to pray
As a human,
To that 
Which
Is
Greater
Than
That
Humanness. 
~~~
Prayers lives in so many forms.  

It lives in movement, in silence, in words, in actions, in flow, in animals, in nature, in art.  

Ad Infinium.

Prayer lives in music.

Of course.

Here is an extraordinary piece by Stile Antico, a British vocal ensemble specializing in polyphonic early music composed before the 18th century.  The group has no conductor.  The singers rehearse and perform as chamber musicians, an approach that has been praised by critics.

To mark forty days of lockdown in the UK in 2020, Stile Antico has created this socially-distanced recording of Thomas Tallis’ legendary forty-part motet, (a sacred choral piece) called,  Spem in alium, using smartphones and tablets. Its intention to offer hope and strength is remarkably woven into this music.

Being a folk and light rock 60’s kid, I know nothing of this music.  

I thank my dear June H. for widening my world and opening my heart.

The song, Spem in alium is a 40-part Renaissance piece by Thomas Tallis, composed in 1570.  It is considered by some to be the greatest piece of English early music.

It translates as: “I have never put my hopes in any other but Thee, God of Israel.”

Here is Stile Antico offering us this prayer: