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March—Outside My Window

03/13/2022 by Aruni

March—Outside My Window

Spring Birds Chirping in the Background

This blog post is also available on my Facebook page to make sharing it with friends and family easy for you to do.

“Memories bring back
Memories
Bring back you,”

Says the song.

What do I believe
About memories?

How does aging
Impact
Not just my biologic
Capacity
To remember…

But the shading,
The nuance,
The perspective
Into which
My
Aging
Brain
Contains
My history?

(Sidebar, please:

I remember,
During my lesbian-feminist days,
I would never say
“history”.

I would say,
“HERstory”.

So—
I 
Stand
Corrected
By the 
Memory 
Of
My
Younger
Self.)

Memories bring
Back memories…

~~~
When I wrote my
Second memoir,
A family member
Read it 
And
Descended
Into deep silence.

Eventually I broke
The
Oh, 
So
Familiar
Silence
And
Asked,

So?

And they said,

“That’s not what happened”

My response,
Decades ago
Was:

My memory.
My HERstory.
My memoir.

And now?
My response now?

Perhaps and hopefully,
It might be:

We all
Have full
Permission
To Remember
What we remember.

Full permission
To forget
What we
Forget.

Permission
Granted.

~~~
When considering my past, 
Sometimes I wonder—
Am I making this up?

Have I added this detail,
Tacked it onto reality
And it has
Over time,
Over
Internal
And
External
Retelling,
It has
Latched on,
Morphing
Itself
Into 
Its own truth?

Maybe.

And—so what?

My memory.
My HERstory.
My memoir.

Permission
Granted.

~~~
Inspiration found me this week through three pieces about memory.

The first one—an article from the NY Times Guest Opinion section.  Written by Dr. Scott A. Small, he explains his perspective; that our brains have the inherent ability to forget parts of the pandemic and that forgetting is healthy, appropriate, and necessary for our mental health.

His final paragraph reads:

“Forgetting some of this fear will allow us to more clearly recall the details we want to remember. For me, those include the astonishing resilience, bravery, and sense of collective spirit that emerged two years ago this week as my hometown became an epicenter of this pandemic. Those memories make me hopeful for the future.”

I always thought the work was to keep memory sharp and alive.  He offers an interesting shift, the essential need to forget.  The full article from March 9th is below:

Read Here

~~~
Next one—

I know this song and I know this project.  I believe I sent it out to you before.  Yet this below link appears to take us to another iteration of the presentation.  I find such love and comfort here, I had to share.

“The song, “Wanting Memories,” written by Dr. Ysaye Barnwell, has touched millions around the world, guiding us on a journey from loss to rediscovery of purpose and love. Through song, dance, and just filming everyday life, we invited singers and non-singers alike to give voice to our collective resilience in this global music video project.”

Ysaye is a founding member of the wonderous group, Sweet Honey in the Rock, an all-woman, African-American a-cappella ensemble. They are a three-time Grammy Award-nominated troupe who express their history as black women through song, dance, and sign language.
Enjoy:

Watch Here

~~~
And one more—
Perhaps you were one of the 16,117,543 people who watched this video in these last two years.  If you were, please, watch again.  It deepens for me and seems to vibrate with connectivity, inspiration, and (dare I say) hope.  And if you were not part of the 16,117,543 people who have viewed it, hey!  This is your moment.

Wise hope.  Not, premature transcendent hope, not the hope that takes us out of the pain, out of the moment.  Oh, no.

Wise hope.  The hope that gives us the courage to stay present with life, as it is.

~~
Who are you?
How does your memory function?

Does it cooperate
With your version of reality?

Do you remember
Positive things?

Negative ones?

Where do they live,
These memories?

In 
Whose 
Voice
Do
They
Whisper
To you?

~~~
To us, all,

I wish,

I pray,

I imagine,

Wise hope

Surrounding us

And surrounding

our families.

In gratitude

For what was.

In gratitude

For what is.

And in gratitude

For

What

Might

Be.

All blessings,

Aruni

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