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What games did you play as a kid?
Most of the time
I played alone.
I rode my bike through
Nay Aug Park
Every day after school
Pretending that I was
A Canadian Royal Mountie,
On my trusty horse,
Out to save
The damsel
In distress.
With delight
along
with
Breathless shame,
I galloped.
Another person’s
Salvation
Rested
With
Me.
(Oops,
A pattern
Emerges.)
I played Heidi in the attic
With accouterments–
Singles of Swiss cheese
And tiny
waxed paper cups
Of milk
Supported
The
Fantasy.
Best of all,
I pretended,
No,
I knew—
I was a cowboy,
Often and always,
No matter where I was,
I was
On
The
Range.
This full fantasy included
Daisy air rifle
Aimed at Evil
Bad guys,
Crouched
On my lawn,
Facing the dangerous world.
With other kids?
Did I play?
I played at Camp.
OH CAMP
MY CAMP
Camp Archbald,
That’s where
The universe
Allowed me
To be me.
I didn’t hang with kids in
The neighborhood…
Were there
Kids
In
The
Neighborhood?
Gladys was my monogamous friend.
Every Saturday afternoon
We went to the movies.
Forever and always
First to the Char Mount,
A restaurant for old women
With purple hair.
Why we went there?
Foreshadowing things
To come?
Hot roast beef.
Mashed potatoes.
Dollop of gravy.
My
Consistent,
Weekly
Order.
(Because they were safe words to say, with no challenging initial consonants to trigger my stutter?)
Then the movie!
So many movies.
Every movie.
I
Love
Movies.
Food and a movie.
Sounds good to me.
- A restaurant.
- Food.
- A Movie.
- Camp.
- Fantasy.
My childhood
Delights.
Each arena
Offered me freedom.
In each,
I
Was
Free.
Free
To
Be
Me.
~~~
As an adult,
What games have I played?
What games
Do you play
As an
Adult?
My go-to-MO is mostly:
I GOT THIS…I GOT THIS…I’LL DO THIS…I CAN DO THIS.
Underneath that
Of course,
Lives loudly,
NOW, DO YOU LOVE ME? NOW, DO YOU LOVE ME? NOW? LOVE ME NOW?
Yes,
That familiar
Tapdancing
Of a
Busy
And
Exhausted
Co-dependent.
Underneath that
Of course
Lives
The heartbreak,
The aloneness,
Of
My
Child.
What about you?
What did you play as a kid?
What games do you play as an adult?
~~~
Here is a classic story from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum It’s an imperfect recording, but hell. I’m reversing a pattern by offering it, as it!!
~~~
A leap of transition, nevertheless, a perfect blast-from-the-past, so touching, here is Holly Near. Do you remember her? For fifty years her activism, woven into song, song woven into concert, each and every one inspiring and motivating, Holly lives as a powerful beacon of integrity and truth. Here she is, singing her song, Lift Me Up to the Light of Change:
~~~
Holly tells us:
nor do I separate my ideas from my daily life.
I open myself up to learning as much as I can
about humanity and this mysterious life experience,
but I do not relate to political work as a series of ’causes.’
Moment by moment, I integrate what I learn into my personal life,
personalizing my politics.
It is from this personal place that I write my songs.”
~~~
Speaking of legends, from Woodstock, 1969, here is Richie Havens. Let’s fall back into this song, as an ending to today’s most rambling blog, hiding, getting found, integrity of self, and freedom!
~~~
Friends,
Be well,
Be safe.
Carry on.
As the light
Continues
To fade,
For just
This last
Tiny
Week,
Solstice
Hovers.
The light
Will
Return.
The light
Is
Returning
Blessings,
Aruni