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They worked then.
They do not work now.
They shielded us then.
Now?
Nope.
They were brilliant
And
Amazing ways
That Emerged
To protect
Ourselves,
To comfort ourselves,
To shield
Ourselves.
EXPIRED.
Ran out.
Became invalid.
Became void.
Lapsed.
Ceased.
Concluded.
Terminated.
EXPIRED.
We just continue
To go down
Their
Ancient
Neuropathways,
Expecting
Different
Results.
I probably have
2,789 potential
Examples.
Here’s one—
My first addiction was fantasy.
Every night in bed
I comforted myself
By “writing stories”.
I was the hero.
Androgynous,
Always riding a horse,
My obsession with
Sargent Preston and King of the Yukon
(a ‘50’s tv series, for you younger ones)
Playing out.
I was there
To save
The
Damsel
In
Distress.
I was a
Royal Canadian Mountie
Like my hero.
I imagined
And
Imagined
And
Imagined
While living
With
The
Profound shame
This fantasy
Gave me.
PROFOUND
SHAME.
That’s one coping mechanism,
Now mostly expired.
I no longer want to be a Royal Canadian Mountie.
Yet I still am aware of the part of myself that
Wants to fix,
To make better,
To rescue.
Only
2, 788 left.
As we become
Willing
Able
And available
To bear witness
To our
Own suffering,
The need for
These ancient protections
Can be soften,
Can be lifted.
This is the healing process
We practice
Off the yoga mat,
The remarkable possibility
Of
Changing
The brain,
The body,
And
Behavior.
By witnessing what is,
By feeling the suffering,
In the case of myself as a tiny Sargent Preston of the Yukon,
The shame of it.
The way to healing,
The way
To new behavior
Is through the feelings.
Abiding our
Own
Suffering.
The way
Out of it
Is through it.
We can
Look through the window
Of old behavior
Onto a new landscape
And
New
Possibilities.
And as we do so,
There we meet
Each other.
~~~
Here is Thich Nhat Hanh, on Touching the Past.
~~~
And here I am, reading a story called, Levitating Big Grey, from my first book, Recovering My Voice.
~~~
I am delighted that our wonderful Kripalu program is returning online, in four-ninety-minute live zoom sessions, Sept. 13-Oct. 4.
https://kripalu.org/presenters-programs/kripalu-approach-healthy-weight
With my dear and brilliant colleague, Dr. Lisa B. Nelson, and special speaker Lauren Gernady from our School of Ayurveda, this program will support you in bringing compassion and the right choice into your relationship with food.
Designed with evidence-based medical information, Ayurvedic wisdom, and the contemplative practice of mindfulness and radical self-acceptance, this online program helps you shift the concept of dieting, which we know is not sustainable, into a journey toward a healthy weight and lifelong wellness. This journey is more than just learning about what we eat, stress reduction, and yogic philosophy—both educational and experiential, it is a practice focused on living and practicing these principles.
If you have questions, please reach out. I am thecoacharuni@gmail.com.