Walking Each Other Home

Ram Das had a picture of Donald Trump on his altar.
I am not there.

I woke last night, annoyed at yet another awakening.

Sleep, 
My-Almost-Enemy,
So elusive,
Offering
So many 
Doorways
To 
More
Disturbance,
More 
Unrest.

And then
I heard it:

The sound of the owl, hooting, soft, insistent,
Surrounding the house.

The owl
She 
Must 
Have
Been
Moving
From front to side,
Back to side
To front,
Making her way
Around the house.

Much time passed.
Maybe an hour?

My annoyance
Faded
And Melted
Into
Awe.

Then morphed
Into greed.

I wanted to see her,
This owl
This nighttime
Harbinger
Of 
Mystery.

I peered out the windows,
Almost-full-moon
Blinding.

The owl
My blessed visitor
Had revealed herself,
Plenty
For my heart,
Not
Enough
For my head.

My heart is
Pretty good.

My head?
A bit less.

This week my fear built.
Violence in the street
Usurped,
Used
Politically
For leverage,
For personal/political gain.

Pandemic,
Thousands upon more thousands
Sick,
To be sick,
Gone,
To be gone,
Usurped,
Used
Politically.

What if….?

That thought I had not allowed myself,
That sentence,
I cannot
Conceive….

What if?

This week
My fear built.

And then I heard
This poem
By Juan Ramon Jimenez:

~~~
I am not I.
I am this one
Walking beside me whom I do not see,
Whom at times I manage to visit
And whom at other times I forget;
Who remains calm and silent when I talk,
And forgives, gently, when I hate,
Who walks where I am not,
Who will remain standing when I die.

~~~
Then I remembered.
Then I wasn’t scared.
For a few breaths.
For a few minutes.
For a few….
???
~~~

Dear Friends,
We must open our hearts to
Ourselves.

We must open our hearts
To
Each other.
~~~
Question of the Moment
From My Heart to Yours—

What does it take for your heart to remember?  For your mind to quiet?  For oneness to reemerge?  What’s the portal, the doorway for you to return home?

Here’s my current-list-of-the-week:

• Awakening into the hoot of an owl, softly wrapped around me
• Observing the rising full moon, emerging from a bank of dark clouds
• Witnessing the tiny and so feisty black squirrel fully amusing herself in the yard
• Remembering the child I was—the child I am—holding my guitar against my belly—sounds vibrating through and in me
• Allowing myself to feel the disconnect, the aloneness, the separateness—and meeting that disconnect, that aloneness, that separateness with kindness
• Smiling at the Christmas trees, patient, oh, so patient in the morning fog
• Touched by the morning sun, breaking through the awakening trees

That’s my list.

What’s yours?

~~~
Dear Friends,
I was blessed to participate in a retreat last weekend with Roshi Joan Halifax from the Upaya Center, with her co-teacher, Frank Ostaseksi, Zen hospice co-founder and author of The Five Invitations.  It was a deep dive into kindness, exactly what this aching heart needed.

Here is a meditation with Roshi Joan, as she leads and guides us to grounded-ness, to center, to All.