Calmness in the Midst
Richmond Pond
I should be sleeping right now.
But I am not.
My sleep?
Slightly disordered.
My food?
Going fast.
It’s extraordinary to see how much I must eat outside of my home,
Now that I’m eating in my home.
My longing for a certain, already-prepared tuna builds.
It’s been three days without, with four cans of tuna awaiting, in the cabinet.
This is not deprivation.
This is change.
That cabinet that, a few days ago, looked stocked with mature choices.
Today?
It’s emptying.
Things are changing daily,
Momentarily.
What is changing?
Every single thing?
Things that previously seemed fully unchangeable,
Like Guidos already made tuna,
Just a credit card away.
Hang on, wait one moment:
Perhaps nothing has changed
Nothing inside of me?
Perhaps the foundations are there,
Just a bit
Jittery.
To find my purpose.
To be there for others.
To walk toward love.
To keep myself safe.
By keeping myself safe,
Supporting you—
You who I need
Beyond anything I could ever have imagined.
Yesterday I was sure I was going to die.
It wasn’t an awful feeling at all,
Just a thing,
Both quiet and deep,
And
Settling.
I’m not sick.
I’m just waiting.
Today, although not sleeping,
I feel more interested
In the sunrise
Coming soon.
Coming soon,
The sunrise.
The earth seems happier,
Healthier
Calmer
Without us mucking around.
She will find her way.
Will we?
As best we can,
We are.
This is what it looks like
To find our way.
Breathe.
Relax.
Let it be what it is.
Do your best.
With kindness to self and others.
More will be revealed
Dear Friends, from my heart to yours, here is a loving kindness meditation.
Be safe,
Be well,
Cherish what is,
Relax into—
All blessings,
Aruni