It’s a Mystery

Aren’t these dots just dizzying?  

I find them fully and totally overwhelming, just as I did when I was eight years old, with 10 dots to track.

Apologies extended to all Lovers-and-Friends-of-Connect-the-Dots, but I always, then and now, have found them excruciatingly annoying and frustrating.  

Before I commit my pencil to the paper, I want to know.

I want to know the bigger picture.

I want to know what is going to happen.

I know the spiritual significance of staying here in the moment.

I truly do, in my head.

Yet today, what emerges in me, as I write this, is:

I want to know what is going to happen.

At the same time, I understand that as we stay in each moment, that moment is the only thing that is real.  

I understand that the moment is the doorway to grace, no matter what is happening, no matter what it is giving us.  

I understand that.

Yet in my particular moment, I would like a bigger picture, an overview, please, a diagram of the future.

I want to know.

What’s going to happen?

I’m 70 now.

Show me 75.  

Where will I be?

How will I be?

Show me 80.

No, never mind about 80.

Okay, okay.  I exaggerate a tad.  You already know that about me.  Yet the contradiction between my spiritual understanding and my human experience of this teaching today is sharp and painful.

Just for today—I know my perspective will change.  It always changes.

Yet truly, truly, there is much I do know, much I know to be true.

Here’s my list of my truths, in this moment—

Right here, right now, these things I know to be true:

• With all Grace and Awe, there is something running the show that is not the Almighty Aruni.
• With relaxation and breath, I can partner with that moment.
• With kindness to myself, I can practice keeping in the Flow.
• And when I notice I am not, with ultimate kindness, I can return to myself.  

I got that—I know that—I believe that. 

I understand that theme.

Big yes.

Yet the plot is the mystery.

What will it look it?

I never did like mysteries.

I thought Agatha Christie was weird.

Sorry if I have offended Agatha-fans.

How many people can I offend in this post?

Here is a story that has stayed with me, that has helped me greatly over time, told to me by a dear friend, earlier in our sobriety.  Please do take it with a massive grain of non-literal salt—My friend is a Jewish man, relating a story about Jesus, The Ultimate of Jewish Men, being retold through the eyes of me, a Jewish woman, who has known many a Jewish man.  

More apologies for any lingering filter of non-literal perspective.

Here’s the story:

Jesus gathered his disciples together, readying them to go out and spread the gospel.  Inspiring and blessing his disciples, Jesus spoke from the depths of his heart. As he finished, silence emerged, into which one of the disciples raised his hand (I made that part up).

Jesus, of course, called on him.

The disciple asked of Jesus:

 “Excuse me, Lord.  This is All Good. Yet I do have one question: what exactly is it that we are teaching?”.

A long pause from Emmanuel, the Son of God, as I imagine it.

And then, on the breath, Jesus replied, “Get there and I’ll tell you”.

Get there and I’ll tell you!

I love that so much!

So, my friends, one step at a time.

One moment at a time.

What’s the next, best thing to do, right here, right now?

As we show up in the moment, the universe responds.

As we come into presence, more is revealed.

That is how the universe works.

It’s not even our business what is going to happen.

Just—one moment at a time—we are taken.

Let’s keep it simple today—one step following the next,

One bite after one bite,

One breath after one, easy relaxed breath.

As we show up, as best we can, the next dot will emerge.

More will always, always be revealed.

Get there

And

I’ll

Tell 

You.

Dear Friends, summer has landed, the heat and humidity full force in the Northeast.  The skies are blue, the clouds, dramatic, the birds, celebrating with a voracious joy.  

Based on this post, here’s a simple practice—

Consider one challenge in your life. 

Breathe right into it, allowing yourself to feel its demands.

What is one, next thing to do, to move toward your challenge?

What is one, simple next step?

Keep it simple, chunk it down.

Show up for it, and watch and see—

What can be revealed?

Dear Friends, let’s join our voices with the celebrating birds.  No matter what is happening, may we have a song of gratitude in our hearts.

Keep me posted—I am aruni@rnetworx.com

All blessings,
Aruni