I’m So Hesitant To……..

I’m SO hesitant to……..

To say the G-Word.

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Hint: It’s not Go-cart.

Hint: It’s not Goldfish.

And no, (hint #3), it’s not Giraffe.

It is—okay, here goes—it’s God.

I don’t use that word when I’m teaching or writing. I’m not sure why—perhaps I don’t want to freak anybody out, and have someone running to the hills, screaming. That holdback certainly underestimates you all’s capacity to manage yourselves.  

Perhaps I don’t want to sound too…religious? But who cares, anyway?

Well, Whatever. Here’s what I want to say—If there is a concept in your world for something greater than yourself, for something running the show, perhaps even for some presence that keeps you, accompanies you, it surely doesn’t matter what name you attribute. And if you don’t have this concept, please keep reading. This blog is for you, too. It’s for all of us, whether you do or don’t believe.

This is what I believe:

I believe, I am positive, there is something carrying me, holding me, blessing me, keeping me safe no matter what is happening.

I fully and deeply believe this.

Until.  

I totally forget.

Then I freak myself out.

Then I think I’m running the show.

And then, I land in the arms of my own anxiety and fear.

We know how that goes, right?

Until.

Eventually

And

Inevitably,

I remember.

Again.

And that process of remembering and forgetting repeats and repeats.

I continue

To remember again.

That’s my process. Being me, this divine being, learning how to be human while inhabiting a body, is a weird journey.  

How do I know there is a Higher Power accompanying me, protecting me? I have almost 40 years of sober data—no matter what lifelike things happened in that time (and so much has!), I found my way through, I was carried through. The more challenging the situation, the wider the doors of Grace opened.

And, another thing—look at the picture at the top of the blog.

Doesn’t it look too beautiful to be real?

It is real.

Totally real.

I live a five-minute walk from this spot, this pond, this beauty.

That is how I recognize Divinity—I see it in nature, teeming, overflowing with such beauty and grace. 

I also sometimes can recognize Divinity in people.

People, I do believe, are God wearing a flesh suit.

It’s pretty easy for me to see Divinity in animals.

Dogs especially grab my heart in that way.

All of my blogs, I believe, are about my faith. Thanks for listening to this G-word-one.

What about you?

Does a sense of faith, of knowing that eventually, all will work out, live in you?

What’s the nature of your faith?

What represents, illustrates Divinity for you?

What is your doorway home to that energy?

If you have one.

If not, guess what?

You don’t have to believe it to be blessed.

~~~

Most of my music listening takes place in the car, my own little private sound booth of compulsivity. As a little kid, I did that, too, in my own bedroom, playing songs over and over again. This week, as a big kid, I’ve been most compulsively listening to this Steve Earle song, so wonderfully offered here by Joan B. Please check out the words, too:

https://youtu.be/5oT4qpi0Vec?si=yw_mdDWowtXzucbb

~~~

God is God

By Steve Earle

I believe in prophecy

Some folks see things not everybody can see

Once in a while they pass the secret along to you and me

I believe in miracles

Something sacred burning in every bush and tree

We can all learn to sing the songs the angels sing

And I believe in God and God ain’t me

I’ve traveled around the world

Stood on mighty mountains and gazed across the wilderness

Never seen a line in the sand or a diamond in the dust

And as our fate unfurls

Every day that passes I’m sure about a little bit less

Even my money keeps telling me it’s God I need to trust

And I believe in God and God ain’t us

God of my little understanding don’t care what name I call

Whether or not I believe doesn’t matter at all

I receive the blessings

Every day on earth’s another chance to get it right

Let this little light of mine shine and rage against the night

Just another lesson

Maybe someone’s watching and wondering what I got

Maybe this is why I’m here on earth and maybe not

And I believe in God and God is God

~~~

Friends,

One step,

One breath,

One footstep,

One nanosecond

At a time.

May we find

Our way home

With acceptance,

With kindness,

And with grace.

Stay blessed,

Aruni

We Don’t Need No More Trouble*

I believe I get what I need to grow.

I believe that the people, places, things and situations

That come into my world

Are cosmically carved out

For me,

And

For

My

Healing.

 

I don’t say any of this to offer us a leap away from life,

A doorway out the feelings.

No, oh no.

To the contrary—

I say it to give us the courage to keep going.

The way out of it

Is

Through it.

 

Have you heard the term

Spiritual transcendence?

 

It might sound something like:

 

I have a feeling.

Om, shanti,

Dear God,

Take it from me.

Take my anger.

 

Poof. Presto. Done.

 

I never believed that.

It seemed—too easy.

 

I’m laughing at myself.

Too easy!

That’s funny.

I do come from the—

It-must-be-hard-to-count-family.

~~~

I heard somebody/somewhere

Say this last week.

At a 12 Step meeting?

Probably.

 

Anyway, I love this.

I’ve been using this:

 

Request from your Higher Power

From whatever/whoever/concept/word/energy

You draw up

For solace

And for support.

 

Request from your That Power

IN ADVANCE,

Ask in advance for

Support for whatever is coming down the line to you:

 

“Okay, Hi, HP.

I’m going over to Albany for the weekend.

I’m going sleep over, never easy.

I can’t sleep in my own bed, why would I sleep in a strange bed?

I’ll be separate from the illusion of control

That my own world offers me.

 

Okay, Life,

Thanks, IN ADVANCE

For taking care of everything for me.

Thanks for smoothing the way.”

 

Sounds kind of superficial…

Kind of silly?

I’ve been practicing this.

And you know what?

I feel less anxious.

Things feel more flowing,

More smoothly.

 

I wonder why?

 

Perhaps it’s a release value

For some of my anxiety?

 

Inviting God in can only be a win/win.

 

I don’t really know how it works.

But it has been helping me.

So I pass it on to you,

As is my moral responsibility,

That I celebrate and honor.

~~~

As I consider this, I realize—

 

This is not to request the specifics of what we want.

This is not to manipulate or overlay our desires onto life.

(Good luck with that anyway.)

 

This is

Remembering and practicing

There is something there

To support us.

There is something there

To guide us.

And we can draw upon that something

At any time.

 

Imagining

Something

Is clearing

My path,

 

Something

Is smoothing

The way.

 

Works for me.

 

Clearly it beats just

Walking around,

Worrying about

What hasn’t even happened yet,

Right?

~~~

So—folks:

What do you think?

Here’s an invitation:

Create a mindful experiment for yourself.

Try this a few times during this upcoming week.

Notice what happens.

Gather your non-judgmental data.

See if there is anything in this practice that might support you.

~~~

This song. This song. It has captivated me during the week.

First, I must say, I love Playing for Change.

The intention to create music worldwide, to bring together different musicians into one song—

Such a profound mission!

Here is a good one—it made me cry.

I (for one) could have used a few more women in it.

Nevertheless, check it out:

 

War/No More Trouble

Feathering Bono

~~~

~~~

Dear Friends,

May we be present.

May we be here.

May we ride the waves of our lives,

No matter what we are given.

May all beings benefit from our time together.

Truly,

Aruni

~~~

*We Don’t Need No More Trouble—lyrics from the song, No More Trouble, by Bob Marley, 1973

I’m Getting Ready to Say One Word I Have Never Uttered Before in a Blog

 

Picture by Erika Crofut

You may think me compulsive,
Yet I confess—
I have in fact written a blog
Weekly for ten++ years.

The rhythm works for me.

Having
A few days off,
Sliding through
The beginnings of the new week,
Lovely.

By Wednesday,
I’m getting a little sweaty.

Topic?
Picture?
Picture/topic?
Topic/picture?

I must start writing.
I must,
Or Thursdays
Become
Uncomfortable.

I ponder and ponder.

I don’t
And then
I do—

I write and write
And love it and
Don’t love it
And do it
And redo it.

I ADORE THIS PART.
It’s a falling in love.
It’s a birthing.
It’s a hearing what
I didn’t know
That I knew

It’s an
Emerging.

It’s my
Practice.

Then off to Jason
It goes,
The Wizard
Behind the Screen,
By Friday.

In all those weeks,
In all those years,
In all that time,
In all those words,

There is one word.
ONE WORD.
That I have never uttered.

Would you like
To guess?

Guess before you
Read on.
~~~
And the one word is:
God.

I fondly call it,
“The G-Word.”

I don’t use it when I teach,
Either.

In the pursuit
Of inclusivity,
I don’t want to
Push
Anybody
Away.

In this particular moment,
That does not
Matter to me.
I am not sure why.

I am saying the word:
GOD.

FEEL FREE TO SWAP IT OUT.
Substitute, Change,
Synonymize up a storm.

God/LifeForce would not care
If you do.

I believe that.
~~~
What does that word,
That concept
Mean to me?

There is something
Running the show.

It isn’t me.

There is something
Available
To lend support—

An energetic partner.

I’m not alone.

OH!
By the way,
I forget all of this
Consistently.

My relationship
With this,
My
Energetic
Partner?

I remember.
I forget.
I remember.
I forget.

I soften.
I let go.
I almost surrender.

Then,
I take it all back.
And try running
The Show Again.

It never works
Very well,
Thinking
I am in charge.

For me,
It’s about
Right relationship
To Reality.

AH!
The human dilemma.
~~~
Please consider
This profound quote
From 12 Step literature:

EITHER GOD IS EVERYTHING,
OR GOD IS NOTHING.**

Again, swap out
The darn word
If it bugs you.

Substitute it.
Do whatever you
Need to do
To keep in
This conversation.

This relationship?
This energy?
This Creative Intelligence?

It’s not a conditional
Relationship.

I am positive—
POSITIVE
Every time I watch the
Morning light
Creep over the mountain,
That there is something
Glorious
Running
The
Show.

POSITIVE.

Every time I watch the
Birds at the feeder.
Mrs. Cardinal,
Her bright red nose.
Mr. Cardinal,
His profound red
Against the white snow,

I AM POSITIVE
Something
Exists
Bigger
Than
My willpower.

I am positive
As I consider
The blessings
In my life,
(Trust me on this),
I did not
Create them.

And then there is
The wider picture.

Our cultural/political moment?
The suffering on the planet?
How do I reconcile
The suffering
On the planet
With this
Concept
Of a
Higher
Intelligence.

For today,
I must keep it
Super-Simple.

I don’t know.

I believe deeply that
By touching into
My own suffering
I become available
To be there for others.

If there is Higher Power,
There is.

Period.
Conversation
Over.

I appreciate this quote,
Because it speaks to
My understanding
Of yoga.

We are All One.
It is All One.
Period.
~~~
And you,
Dear Reader,

Where do you land
In this conversation?

What is true
For you?

How do you
Practice
Right-sized
Relationship
To
Reality?
~~~
Here is Joan Baez. My hero.
Here she is at her 75th birthday celebration, six years ago.
This is a lovely and deep song by Steve Earle.
I’ve included the lyrics.

Lyrics—Well-said.
Song—Well-sung.
Indeed.

 

 

Lyrics:

I believe in prophecy.
Some folks see things not everybody can see.
And, once in a while, they pass the secret along to you and me.

And I believe in miracles.
Something sacred burning in every bush and tree.
We can all learn to sing the songs the angels sing.

Yeah, I believe in God, and God ain’t me.

I’ve traveled around the world,
Stood on mighty mountains and gazed across the wilderness
Never seen a line in the sand or a diamond in the dust.

And as our fate unfurls……
Every day that passes I’m sure about a little bit less.
Even my money keeps telling me it’s God I need to trust.

And I believe in God, but God ain’t us.

God, in my little understanding, don’t care what name I call
Whether or not I believe doesn’t matter at all.

I receive the blessings
That every day on Earth’s another chance to get it right.
Let this little light of mine shine and rage against the night

Just another lesson.

Maybe someone’s watching and wondering what I got
Maybe this is why I’m here on Earth, and maybe not

But I believe in God, and God is God.
~~
Dear Friends,

We are not in charge.
We participate.

We are not alone.
There is
Protection.

There is
Care.

Whether we know it.
Whether we don’t.

Let us together
Request
Courage
To do the next
Best thing.

Let us request
Willingness
To let go
Of the outcome.

Let us request
Softness
To open our hearts
To the moment.

May all beings benefit
From our shared words.

All blessings,
Aruni
~~~

**Quote from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Want to Dive Deeper?

Do certain topics interest you? My blog is now organized into easy-to-navigate categories! Whether you’re interested in Grace, Gratitude, Spiritual Connection or Surrender (the list goes on), you can easily find the articles most relevant to you.
Here is the link to my blog: https://coacharuni.com/blog/
The category drop-down menu is on the right side of your screen.