One Thing We Can Be Sure Of? Uncertainty.
I’ve had a week of creeping, mounting uncertainty. As my days unfold, one friend hovers at the end of his life, another waits for a third surgery, each surgery correcting the previous one. My beloved Niki-the-dog wakes one morning, completely lame. The Inner Quest rounds the bend next weekend, always a joy while packed full of unknowns. The Kripalu Ashram Reunion, in which I’m presenting, comes, uncertainty on steroids; all these things (and more) are hollowing me out with nibbling uncertainty.
What The F? That’s a lot, right?
Yes, it is. And, it’s all happening.
I think of Pema Chodron’s book, Comfortable with Uncertainty. This quote, this quote—I return to this quote so often. Here’s Pema, page 2:
“When inspiration has become hidden, when we feel ready to give up,
this is the time when healing can be found in the tenderness of the pain itself…….
This awakens through kinship with the suffering of others.”
Pema’s quote is both comforting and instructive for me. I thought my role on this journey of healing, of aging, of living as a mensch* on the planet was to make sure inspiration never got hidden, that I never felt ready to give up. I really did believe that I should always inspired, trusting, and good-to-go.
Obviously, this is an impossible and unrealistic task, an absurd goal. My role is to partner with Reality, whose name I capitalize out of respect. She is relentless. She is in charge. Whatever happens in my life, may I be more the receiver than the director of the moment.
Pema’s invitation into the pain itself, into its “tenderness”, as the path of healing, I find breathtakingly profound. Sounds like Kripalu Yoga Off the Mat to me—the feelings will come and they will go. Trying to avoid them, change them, hold on to them only block the Flow State, the positive life energy—whatever you choose to call it—that moves us from moment to moment.
And most importantly, Pema talks about “kindship with the suffering of others”. I do believe this is the essence of Kripalu programming. Because we are there not to change each other, not to fix each other (nothing is broken, damn it!), because we are there to witness, to see and be seen, to hear and be heard—everything, all healing becomes possible.
So, what do we do? In the face of uncertainty, what do I do? As best I can, I will practice:
- Keeping it super simple.
- Allowing my experience to be right here, right now, in this moment, in this day.
- Leaning away from worrying about that which hasn’t happened.
- Drawing on my past experience to remember, no matter what, it always worked; I was always carried through.
- Continuing to draw on my faith, on my trust.
- Finding my way forward
We find our way forward.
That’s what we do.
~~~
Music—oh, so helpful. Here’s Leonard Cohen, oh, Leonard, how I wish you weren’t dead. I know, I know, that’s ridiculous. I always think it’s so interesting that you died, Leonard, the day before the election between Trump #1 and Hilary Clinton. Not a bad timing, I guess.
Here is a glorious classic from your remarkable London tour in 2008.
~~~
Friends,
Right here,
Right now,
All is well.
Right here,
Right now,
We are safe.
Right here,
Right now,
We are connected—
To ourselves,
To each other.
Right here,
Right now,
No matter what is happening,
May we
Be blessed.
Right here,
Right now,
May we remember
We are already blessed.
May all beings benefit from the words we share.
Stay blessed,
Aruni
*mensch—Yiddish for a good human, an upstanding and righteous adult