Eventually. And. Inevitably.
PART ONE:
I remember. Then I forget.
Then eventually, I remember again. For while, maybe.
Then, guess what? Yep. Once again, I forget.
This is my practice—
To allow the forgetting, to not make it wrong,
And to keep coming back to the remembering.
For me, remembering is a deep and sure knowing that, no matter what is unfolding, ultimately, eventually, inevitably, all will be okay. I am not alone. I am not at risk. I am held.
No matter what happens.
For me, forgetting means, F—k this shit. I hate this shit. This shit (fill in your specific brand of shit) isn’t okay. I’m scared. I’m furious. I’m screwed.
Slight exaggeration here, but not really.
CASE IN POINT:
Today, this very moment.
I live on sub-par dirt roads, not supported by the town. Our association is responsible for our own plowing, and limited road maintenance.
Because of the warmer days and cold nights, we have melting, then freezing up overnight.
Right now, my road is nightmare-ish caldron of frozen impassable ice/mud, with a layer of water on top.
Grrrrr.
Nik the Dog has a vet appointment at 11:00.
It’s 8:00 now.
An internal bitching session begins in my head, a conversation with the guy in charge of our roads, a harmless and good man named John L.
John, blah-blah, needs to be stronger with the plow-guy, I think to myself. Roads suck. It’s unsafe. Won’t get Nik the Dog out by 11:00. Blah-blah-blah.
The conversation externalizes a bit, as I start mumbling to my wife, who is fully uninterested and does not, absolutely DOES NOT engage.
An intervention to my forgetting comes from a friend via text, reminding me (after my blathering to her) that the temperature is going up to 42 today. There will be melting. I kind of remember that now. Oh. I also remember that the vet appointment isn’t so important, I can easily reschedule.
I remember. Perspective returns. I soften. It’s so much easier to not fight what’s happening.
At 10:30, Nik and I leave effortlessly leave. The road is melted and muddy.
Eventually.
Inevitably.
It’ll work out.
Eventually.
Inevitably,
As I let go,
It solves itself.
No matter the solution,
It works.
There isn’t a situation that I might face that this truism won’t hold. For me, that’s what I must believe. It’s too terrifying to not believe this. For me.
Most importantly, I do not say any of this to deny us our feelings. I say it to help us to feel our feelings, to give us a courageous and gentle practice for living our lives. By feeling what is, by allowing it to be (taking right action, when needed, of course), and letting go, it is truly the easier and softer way.*
I share this practice to give us the courage to keep going,
To keep feeling,
To keep living life as it is.
Eventually and inevitably.
~~~I
PART TWO:
It is March. That means April is indeed the next month. That must mean, no matter what the damn groundhog says, SPRING IS COMING.
In the Berkshires, this winter has been long and cold, snowy and icy. I’ve been sick multiple times, perhaps my reaction, my defense against the heaviness of the world around me. Cabin fever is settling in. How about you?
I know there are people reading this who love winter. There are people who love rolling in snow and flying downhills on tiny, seemingly treacherous skis, and the like. Congratulations to all who enjoy winter. For all of us, who enjoy it or not, I am here to say—
Eventually and inevitably, spring is coming!
Here are some deep spiritual teachers, giving us the inspiration to keep going. There are some cultural generalizations, apologies. Please watch. It is laughable, and that is good. Join this sing-a-long, I double-Dutch-dare-you:
~~~
Friends,
May we be present.
May we be whole.
May we ride the waves of our lives.
May we live in peace,
No matter what we are given.
Eventually and inevitably.
With kindness,
With courage,
With ease.
Eventually and inevitably,
May we be restored,
Back home,
To ourselves.
May all beings benefit from our words.
Stay blessed,
Aruni
~~~
*a 12 Step slogan