Leaning Toward Solace
Friends,
As I oh, so slowly make my way out of my sick bed, both literally and figuratively, news from the outside world clenches at my heart.
Events in our country, events in our world feel upside down. Wrong. Just wrong. And yet, reality wins. These things are happening.
I heard a quote this morning from Maryanne Williamson who said:
“A thin river of misery runs through my life.”
OMG. OMG. I so identify with this.
And in my identifying, I remember.
Again and again:
It is my responsibility to lean away from this river.
It is my personal and collective commitment to lean toward solace.
My comfort, my safety, are not dependent on external factors.
They are dependent upon my willingness to draw on the practices that bring me solace.
Solace = comfort, consolation in times of distress and sadness.
~~~
Strangely, I haven’t written much about my days as a member of the Kripalu Ashram. From 1989 until its dissolution in 1996, I lived in Shadowbrook, Kripalu’s main building, with a community of 450 volunteers. Our main practice was seva, or selfless service.
I was fortunate to come to Kripalu in 1989 as a sober woman. I had taught for almost two decades in Newark, N.J., had lived a few years sober, and was able to hunker down in the ashram, with my 12 Step support, to receive the blessings of living with a mindful community. Our teacher was Amrit Desai, whom we called Gurudev. My experiences were rich and wild and exactly what I needed to become more of who I really am.
They formed me. They baked me. They grew me.
On Thursday nights in the ashram, we would gather for satsanga, which means in the company of truth, with Gurudev. He would lecture, not my favorite part. After it, however, we together would do call-and-respond chanting together. Chanting, as I understand it, is a practice of bhakti yoga, the yoga of devotion.
In the repetition of those prayers, oh, how my head would quite down. Oh, how my body would relax. Oh, how my heart would open. Sometimes, the next morning upon awakening, I would find the chant there, waiting for me.
Being sick these past weeks have wreaked havoc with my routines, my practices. I am making a commitment today, this first week of January, to reestablish this practice, to bring bhakti yoga back into my days. All I have to do is nothing, just listen. Just allow the words to open me.
Listening totally counts!
Here is a wonderful mantra, called Tvameva Mata, sung by Carrie Grossman, a Kripalu presenter. I have listened to this mantra all week. It comforts me.
First, here are its words and their translation:
Twameva Mata Cha Pita Twameva
Twameva Bandhu Cha Sakha Twameva
Twameva Vidya Dravinam Twameva
Twameva Sarvam Mam Dev Deva
You alone are my mother, You alone my father.
You alone are my family, You alone my friend.
You alone are my knowledge, You alone my wealth.
You are everything to me, O Great Spirit,
You alone.
Friends, listen to this.
Sit and breathe with this. Thank you, Carrie.
More Information about Carrie Grossman
~~~
What will you do this week to bring yourself centering, solace, and peace?
I will practice turning off Netflix (the healing powers of streaming are real!) and give myself other ways of healing.
~~~
Friends, for you, for all of us, let’s end with metta meditation, lovingkindness to self, to other, and to all:
May I be present.
May I be whole.
May I ride the waves of my life.
May I live in peace no matter what I’m given.
May you be present.
May you be whole.
May you ride the waves of your life.
May you live in peace no matter what you’re given.
May we be present.
May we be whole.
May we ride the waves of our lives.
May we live in peace no matter what we’re given.
All blessings,
Aruni
~~~