Pain is Mandatory—Suffering?  It’s Optional

Hello.  

This title?
A tad depressing?
Truly, not—it’s good news,
Which,
Of course,
We could
Use plenty.

Thinking we can control what’s happening—
(Sub-group emerging?)
Is the ultimate and guaranteed doorway
To pain.

Right?

But, at the same time, isn’t it inevitable
That we try to,
That we desperately try to
Control
People,
Places
And
Things?

Isn’t this the ultimate of human dilemmas?

Our damn illusion of control?
~~~
It is inevitable that suffering finds us.
We are just passing through,
Our bodies, destined to age and disintegrate.
(Too harsh a word?)

Our loved ones,
Our cherished things,
Coming to pass—
Certainly not
Coming
To
Stay?

We know that but—ouch.
When life shakes us into heartbreak,
We dive down from 
The understanding of
Impermanence
Into a living,
Aching
Grief.

It is
A very different place.
~~~
Pain is inevitable.
It is our human inheritance.

But suffering?
In this 12 Step Slogan (our title),
Suffering is seen as another distinction, 
Different from the Buddhist understanding of suffering.

In this context, I believe suffering means—

Resisting what is.

Pushing away the moment
And
The feelings.

Expecting ourselves to
Be different.

The feelings are not the problem.
They will come,
They will go.

It’s our resistance to them,
Our rejection of them,
Our shame about them,
That causes us
Undue suffering.
~~~
Today is my birthday.
It’s a gloomy, grey, rain-crazy day.
And it is perfect.
I’m home
With a damp dog
From a soaking walk.

I’m home
With myself
Pondering these,
The last years of my life.

I choose to relax into the 
Inevitability of pain.

The pain of aging,
Of losses,
Of energy shifts,
Of disappointments,

Of even the uncertainties
Of our country.

I choose to relax 
As best I can,
To let it be what it is,

By
Breathing,
Relaxing,
And 
Doing
The
Next
Right 
Thing,

I pray
To lessen
My suffering,
As best
I can, 
By relaxing
Into
The
Pain.
~~~
Dear Friends, 
What about you?
How do you choose to be
With yourself.
As the darkness gathers,
As the 
Light
Hovers?
~~~
Stand by Me.

What if your inner self could request that of you?

Stay with me.  See me.  Hear me.  Be with me.

Stand by Me.

Here is a wonderous version of the classic, offered by Playing for Change, the multimedia music project that travels the world, weaving together musicians from many countries, making the world a smaller and more connected place through music.

Let this song be sung to you, you to yourself.   

Stand by Me.