Not Over Yet

Words come slowly to me this week.
Too much happening?
Or—perhaps—
Nothing much happening?

One or the other, I am certain.
Or perhaps, some of each?

This week, I find myself
Pondering acceptance.

Noticing,
When I stop struggling,
When I stop resisting,
Stop pushing away,

Everything changes.

It softens.
The moment softens.
Everything softens.

Life relaxes
Into so much more
Ease.

Haven’t I learned this yet?
Obviously, I’m not done yet.

Oh!  Title of my last book,
I remember that—

NOT OVER YET.

No graduation.
No degree in Presence.
Just and always,
The ongoing practice.

Anne Lamott the Brilliant One
Says:

DON’T TRY HARDER.
RESIST LESS.
~~~
Here’s what happened.
The precipitating event:

I must drive to Long Island.

This is not a sentence.
This is not a punishment.
This is not banishment to
A gulag.

It’s a drive.
In a car.

Rather than confronting my feelings
About the purpose of the visit,
(A doctor’s visit for a dear one),
I totally and wholly
LOST IT
About—
Driving to Long Island.

I created a dense smoke screen.
I got scared about the boogeyman roads.

Truth be told,
I’m a New York City driver.
I hold my own on life’s highways.

But something about—
Long Island.

The reputation of its highways
Is a strong one.

I don’t know the roads.
Of course I don’t.

But Apple Maps does.
As does AAA Trip-Tix.
Remember Trip Tix?
We are going with the
Old-timey system
Along with the new-timey one.

Ahhhhh.
Acceptance.

~~~
12 Step programs say,

ACCEPTANCE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OF MY PROBLEMS TODAY.

That doesn’t mean
No action.

That doesn’t mean
Passivity.

That doesn’t mean
Don’t get the Trip-Tix,
Which will strengthen my illusion of control.

It just means,
Relax into it for a nanosecond
Before leaping into doing something.

Another great saying came to me this week:

JUST DON’T DO SOMETHING, SIT THERE.

Slow it down, Aruni.

Stop tapdancing and signing and pleasing the multitudes.
Stop.

Sit.
Breathe.
Relax.

I will find my way.

I am finding my way.

This is what it looks like
To find my way.
~~~
A dear member of my community died too young.
Filled with life and passion,
She had to leave her body behind.
Surely, she is zooming throughout 
The cosmos
Spreading her love everywhere.

At her memorial,
This song was played as 
A favorite song of hers.

It’s an amazing song…
Yet, this cover!
This is remarkable.

Chantal, fly free.

~~~
Dear Friends,

One step at a time.
Right?

One breath.
One moment.

Right here.
Right now.

This is where
Life is happening.

May we all
Relax into the moment
When we are able.

May ultimate and infinite resources
Meet us there.

May all beings benefit from our shared words.

Blessings,
Aruni

~~~
Not Over Yet—
Simple Strategies to Struggle Less and Savor More