What Was. What Is. What Might Be.

 

A few blessed days at the beach!
It never is enough, of course.

Beach time
Longs for
More
Beach
Time.

That special place holds
Many memories
Of what was
For this human,
For
Me.

Driving by the sand dunes
I used to bike on,

Remembering
My
Full-bodied
Glee
Zooming
Up and down
Those sandy hills.

No biking on sand dunes today.
Or tomorrow.
Those days
Are 
Behind 
Me.

Driving this week
By the spot,
The actual spot, 
And
Remembering
Like yesterday,
Like today,

Holding my phone
To my ear,

My mother’s voice
Telling me:

I have cancer.

In a breath,
In a few syllables,
Ending my childhood,
Changing my life 
Forever.

Reminiscing about different camping sites.

Driving by them,
Remembering
And
Snickering. 

Those pink flamingos!
That
Dear Bill 
Bought us all
And surprised us,
Putting them
Outside our tents.

Dear Bill,
So long ago
Gone to us.

Dinner in that restaurant—
Who were we with?

Was it Shanti?
I don’t think so.

Oh, and the time Linda,
Beyond-dependable,
Didn’t show up at the beach,
Oh, the traffic to get there.

We grumbled.

The rainstorms while tent-camping!

Your lips next to my ear,
Rain pounding on our leaky tent,
You 
Shouting 
Something.

I couldn’t hear a word
Through the tumult of rain.

Memories bring back memories
Bring back you.

And the very place 
On Route Six
Driving back to our campsite,
When Lori told us
Archa, dear Archa
Had brain cancer.

That spot forever alive,
That moment 
Forever available.

That spot,
A tether,
A return
Back
To
What
Was.

A life lived.
~~~
The waves hold my memories, coming and going,
Fluid and alive.
Each drop saturated with what was,
With whom I used to be.

A privilege and a blessing to belong to a place.
To have a place belong to me
So intimately,
So powerfully.

A life lived.

And now what?
Who am I now?
And who will I be
Tomorrow?

Today,
Just for today,
I rest easy
With
These
Questions.

Just for today.
~~~
Here’s a song.
Memories…

By Maroon 5: