10,000 Joys & 10,000 Sorrows
Moonrise
“When you open your heart, you get life’s ten thousand joys, and ten thousand sorrows.”
Taoist sage Chuang Tzu
I just ruminated
For 30 hours,
Intricately planning
A detailed,
Perfect solution
To
Something that
Didn’t
Even
Happen.
Oh, friends, the sorrows I bring myself, doubting life’s capacity.
Doubting my own.
Oh, friends, those self-inflicted sorrows.
So, we practice. It’s what we do. We practice leaning away from our expired behaviors, the ones that once supported us, the ones that do not support us now.
Like old, expired food in the refrigerator, we practice releasing behavior and bringing in new ways of responding.
Those self-inflicted sorrows.
~~~
And then, oh, friends, the external sorrows.
The inevitability of our aging, our dying,
Living and witnessing the losses, the heartbreaks.
The inevitability of sorrows.
The inevitability of sorrows,
Our human dilemma
~~~
Yet now, oh, friends, now.
Now we share something else.
Now we share the intensity
The immensity
Of cosmic sorrow.
We share each other’s pain.
And what a time it is.
What a time
To bear witness.
Can this be who we are?
As a species, can it be?
Are we really a people who think killing other people will bring…..what?
Freedom? Safety?
As a species, can it be?
Are we really a people who pour gasoline on
The flames of separation
Of hatred,
Of genocide,
Thinking that
Is the solution?
Are we really?
We are here to bear witness to the larger, the cosmic sorrows.
We always did—we always were.
Now, the intensity increases.
Now, the darkness,
The hopelessness
Settles.
Now,
We feel the pain of others in serious harm’s way.
We share the pain.
~~~
And it’s all true!
The more we open our lives up,
The more we choose a path of presence, of being with what is,
The more joys emerge, too.
Today? Today alone, in these past three hours since my rising?
What were the joys?
Nik the Tiny Dog galloping up and down the hallway,
Shaking her toy with total commitment,
Total abandonment
Total engagement.
Thank you.
The lightening of the day,
From darkness to light,
Thank you.
The soft warm home I leave,
The crisp cool air I breathe.
Thank you.
Thank you for the joys.
Thank you for the sorrows.
We get it all.
~~~
Did you have a cool-things-to-read-in-high-school-phenomenon?
We did. (We = me + Gladys.)
Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger—oh, so cool. I was Holden Caulfield. Or, perhaps more truthfully, a wannabe.
Atlas Shrugged, although I never really managed to wrap my head around it. The concept of the book was much cooler than the book itself.
Then, The Prophet by Kahlil Gilbran—that was cool.
Although Gladys, my monogamous friend since age 8, my official life archivist (do you have a friend who remembers everything? She is My Gladys), she has unusually limited memory of The Prophet. Which shakes my own belief in my memory. She believes one of our Girl Scout Camp counselors read it to us. I surrender and choose that as my memory, too.
Sorry, I do digress.
Initially I considered The Prophet so cool and poetic.
Then I grew into a slight embarrassment of it. I got too cool. It sounded too cheesy, too corny.
Today, here is The Prophet. Today, I think this is beautiful:
~~~
On Joy and Sorrow
Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
By Kahlil Gilbran
~~~
Today I end with this interpretation of Jewish liturgy—
May you shelter us with your presence.
May you let our burdens release.
May you guard and protect our hearts and our souls.
Please hold all of us—
All of us
Beneath the wings
Of your peace.
All blessings,
Aruni