If You Knew Me…
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Your story doesn’t hold a candle
To who
You really are.
Oh, dear friends.
We make up
Such shit.
OOPS.
Apologies
For the profanity
So early on
In this
Missive.
(Missive?
Who said that?)
I am
Positive
The only
Things
That
Limit me
Live
Inside
My
Head,
Inside
My
Ancient
Belief
Systems,
Those
Obsolete
Coping
Mechanisms
That probably
At one point
Protected me
From the
Pain
Of being
Me.
They are
Obsolete!
Out of date.
No longer useful.
Do you identify?
~~~
Aruni–
Example:
The dance
Of
My
Ancient
People-pleasing:
Do you love me?
Do you really
Love me?
Do you want me?
Me?
Really?
Never mind,
No, just kidding.
I don’t want
You.
See me.
Please
See
Me.
No,
Please
Don’t look.
NO LONGER HELPFUL.
OBSOLETE.
~~~
I got invited
To this
Holiday
Thing
With a bunch
Of people.
People I know.
And somewhat
Inside of me
Somewhere
People
I
Probably
Love.
I fell into
Deep
Resistance.
DON’T WANNA.
CAN’T.
WON’T.
It simply
Seemed
Tooooo
Hard.
The good news?
It was cancelled.
Common sense
Prevailed
Regarding
Safety.
BUT OH.
Did I dance
All around
Myself
For a few
Days,
Sashaying with
The ancient
Belief:
I don’t
Know
How.
I don’t
Want
To…
It’s
Overwhelming…
(Of course, give me a microphone and a room full of 70 people.
I am not overwhelmed.
I am in bliss.)
~~~
If you knew me
If you really
Really
Knew me—
You would know:
I swing between
Wild and wonderful
Expansion
(trust, love, grace…)
Back into
Constriction
And
Fear
And
Longing.
Longing
To be alone—
But not
Really.
That is me.
And you?
Who are you?
~~~
Consider this.
Write this out.
Contemplate this.
IF YOU KNEW ME, IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME—
~~~
I’m old and had no idea who this character, Jacob Collier, is.
I see that he is singer-songwriter, musical wizard.
I adore this.
It touches me deeply.
I’m delighted to share it with you:
Jacob Collier and the Audience Choir
Can’t Help Falling in Love with You
~~~
Dear Audience Choir,
We all
Sing our
Own song,
Return to
Our
Own note.
Yet,
Together
We
Are
A
Choir,
An
Orchestra,
A
Community
Of healing.
Thanks for being
My
Community.
Thanks for being
My
Healing.
Celebrating
The
Return
Of
Light—
All blessings,
Aruni
~~~
- Are you still full from your Thanksgiving meal?
- Are you navigating those damn cupcakes at work, pretending they aren’t there?
- Are you looking toward the Chanukah or Christmas meals with subdued glee and anticipatory guilt?
Beyond Right and Wrong
- Online
- Mondays in January 2023
- Jan. 9, 16, 23, 30
- 12:00 Noon-1:30
- With Aruni Nan Futuronsky
- Lisa Nelson, M.D.
- Lauren Gernady from the School of Ayurveda