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I Wake…

04/04/2021 by Aruni

I Wake…
Again and Again

I wake into moonshadows.

They creep into my room
With 
Such
Breathtaking
Beauty.

I sit bolt upright.

The headache?
Gone for now.

Gratitude,
Like the moon,
Washes 
Over 
Me.

There 
Is 
So much beauty,
So many signals,
Signs,
That
I 
Am
Held.

Yet fear nibbles,

Nibbles 
At 
Me. 

This new world?

Going back
To what?

How to navigate
In this
New
Plus-sized,
Post-lockdown
Body?

A twinge
Of
Shame…..

Being with people?
A. and C.
In a
Few
Weeks?

A walk
With L.?

The bar mitzvah
In May?

What does
May 
Even
Mean?

My
Newfound
Internal
Introvert
Feels
Threatened.

Work?
Income?
Clients numbers
Going down?

A sign?

Now what?

Socially engaged
Yogi?

How to widen,
To serve
More,
Not
Just
Us?

Kripalu?

How?

Too many questions.

No need
To force
A
Solution.

Live into 
The questions.

Live
Into
The 
Questions.

I’m being followed
By a moonshadow.

I know what to do—

Nothing.

Lay back down.

Nothing
to decide
Now.

So much privilege,
The vaccine!

Etcetera.
Etcetera.

And
Etcetera.

Trust.
Breathe.
Relax.

It always works.
Life
Will 
Carry 
You.

I feel 
Too
Old,
Too
Tired
For a
Transition
Of this
Magnitude.

And yet
Here
I am,
In transition.

And
Yet—
Strong back,
Soft front

I choose life.

I choose to practice,
To allow life
To show me.

Next steps?

Reveal yourselves.

When it is time.

~~~

Inspiration

Two things this week, that brought me inspiration:

First, remember this?

Faith.  
Faith.

Moonshadow.
Be with me.

Moonshadow,
Comfort me.

Moonshadow, 
Carry me.

~~~
The second, from our Passover Haggadah which I have used for two decades, has comforted me and reminded me, Passover after Passover:

Wendell Berry, Peace of Wild Things.

The dayblind stars
Waiting with their light
For me…..

To not tax myself with
The forethought of grief.

To remember.
To allow 
The 
Forgetting,
And
To
Remember.

Moonshadows.

Dayblind
Stars.

I am
Being
Held.
~~~

Announcements

Living Next to Normal—Reentering the World with Mindful Choice

Fri., April 9-Sunday, April 11
Live streaming zoom retreat

It’s going to be wonderful.
Check out this link:

http://coacharuni.com/upcoming-events/

Share Circles—

Please join us.  So simple, so easy.  Listen and be listened to.  Speak and receive others.  Let’s stay connected to ourselves and one another.

Thursday, April 8, @ 2:00 EST.

http://coacharuni.com/thursdaycircles/

Your payment will indicate your registration.

Suggested payment is $12/session or $40/month.

PayPal link is here
~~~

Dear Friends,
With gratitude,
With possibility
With hope.

Blessings,
Aruni

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Books

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  • Recovering My Voice: A Memoir of Chaos, Spirituality, and Hope
  • Already Home: Stories of a Seeker
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