Yesterday was a hard day.  
All of it, everything, seemed dense,
Too heavy to even imagine a shift,
Despite the shifts that 
Have begun
To creak 
Themselves
Open.

It was a couch day, interrupted by dog walks, errands, 
Stuff.
But a couch day, nevertheless.

I napped and moped and erranded myself
Through the day.

Finally,
Hallelujah—
It was time!

OH THAT TIME,
The one that seems
To get earlier
These days.

The time to get in bed.

At 7:00 p.m.,
DELIGHTED AND RELIEVED
I cozied into bed…

(This is who I have become, 
The highlight of my day
Comes
At
The end of the day,
Most of it due to Most Adorable Animal Bed-Mate, 
(see pix below)

I quieted down.
I snuggled in.

I began to consider,

I began to ponder.

And I remembered
The words that 
Joe Biden spoke
At the memorial
For the COVID losses.

“To heal, we have to remember,” 

He said,
From a place of deep knowing.

Hum.

Perhaps I was pushing down too much?
Keeping myself too freakin’ busy?
Working too much?
Getting on with it all, too much?
Netflix-ing too much and with too little discernment?
Prematurely transcending?

Too much?

Perhaps I felt safe enough
Just for a few moments
With the new national shifts,
To begin to consider
My losses.

So
I let myself 
Remember 
What I missed.

And then I remembered.

And then I remembered.

I miss you.

~~~

“Here Comes the Sun”

It has been a long and dark time.
We need no reminder of it.

So much darkness,
So much deception.

So much distortion
Of 
Reality.

So much death.

And yet……….

Amanda reminds us:

Modified,
Shifted,
Ended,
Began
Again

Something else.

Something of
Inclusivity,

Of
Transparency,

Of
Possibility,

Of
Integrity.

Of course, of course—
There is so much to be done.

Of course, of course—
We are a major mess.

The fault lines
Horridly
And
Gratefully
Exposed
During these years
Call us into action.

We are 
A broken nation.

We are.

What is possible?

What might be?

Who can imagine?

The day of the inauguration, for me was one 
Of tears and inspiration and shift.

The night,
My dreams
Were filled 
With

Running,
Fleeing,

Bad guys
Coming.

Hiding
And
Danger.

Old dreams 
And
Current 
Dreams
Merged.

I woke exhausted,
Confused.

And
Yet
Perhaps
With a modicum of hope,
I can begin to purge this panic?

With a dose 
Of connectivity
And trust,
I can
Begin detoxing
This trauma?

Amanda tells us:

“Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished.”

Dear friends,
That sounds 
Right,
So 
Very
Right, to me.

We are
Simply unfinished.

I have two things to share, in this week of hope and heartbreak and exhaustion and possibility. 

First, the heart of my heart, Our Mary Oliver, offers us this moment perfectly.  I want to live into her invitation to life:

“It is a serious thing
Just to be alive
On this fresh morning
In this broken world.”

Fresh and broken?  

Fresh and broken
In the same moment?

Yep, fresh, newly dawned, snowflakes softly finding their way to earth, effortlessly, perfectly.

Broken, indeed.  

Loss and chaos and death and deception,
In the midst of
Slowly
Dancing
Snowflakes.

Broken and fresh, in the same moment.

All true.
All inevitable.
All sacred.

We can hold it all.
We are
Holding it all.

What does Mary mean by “it is a serious thing….”?

On some level, I hear it as a call to action.

To live into kindness,
Into
Connection,

Into
Connectivity,

To self
To other
To all.

What do you think?

~~~

Secondly, my next offer of inspiration to you:

Here they are.  

In my world, (forgive me, this comment will both age me and wildly and flagrantly display my rigidity, at the same moment), music really hasn’t gotten better than this:

I stand and I ponder.

I’m always touched 
By
The beauty 
Of the
Wetlands.

Today
The shine
Of 
Almost-sunset 
On the ice,

The 
Grey-silver
Blanket 
Of 
Clouds,

Together
Take 
Away
My breath
With its
Soft
Intensity.

And
The
Footprints.

The footprints!

What 
Messengers
Have
Left them 
For
Our 
Edification?

For our
Silent
Solace?

Bunnies?
Ducks?

Beings 
So much
More connected
Than
You
Or
I.

Beings

(Bunnies?  Ducks?)

That have enough
Instinctual sense
To walk
One
Step,

One 
Step,

One
Step
At
A 
Time.

And find their way.

I stand.
I ponder.
I consider.

We are finding our way.

How many times in the last ten months have we heard the word—unprecedented?
Here we are again,
Walking through
An 
Unprecedented
Flurry
Of
Events.

What do we know to be true?

Let’s ask the bunnies.
Let’s ask the ducks.

One
Step,

One
Step, 

Just one step
At a time.

We don’t have to know the outcome.
(Damn-it!)

We don’t have to plan the course.
(Double-Dutch-Damn-It!)

Just one foot,

One
Step,

One
Step 
At a time

Across the unprecedented
Landscape
Of
This
Moment.

Dear Friends, 

No outside ‘thing’ could spark that place of inspiration inside of me this past week.  I have had to look deeply inside myself, quieting down in order to find places of solace and silent ease.

I would like to share two of them with you.

The first is a silent video I took the other day on a walk.  I received much comfort from the flowing water and I’m so grateful to share it with you.

And—I was appropriately silent for twenty seconds.  Always a victory on my end.

~~~

Secondly, from my home to your home, from my heart to your heart, here is a guided meditation on Finding Our Way.  May this ten-minute-ish inspiration support you in relaxing, realigning, and remembering.

Listen Here

~~~

Thursday Share Circle—

Our Share Circle is alive and well.  Please join us on Thursday, 1/21st, at 2:00.

Our shift to pay for services is working fine.

PayPal link is here

Your payment will indicate your registration.

http://coacharuni.com/thursdaycircles/

~~~
Dear Friends,

Be safe and well.  
Let’s do our best and practice letting go of the outcome.

One step at a time…..

Until next week’s blog—

With blessings,

Aruni

Hello, folks.  

I am speechless.

I feel hugely impacted by the events
in Washington
this past week. 

The images haunt me.

So many feelings rumble in me, 
feelings without words 
or 
context.

The challenges we face 
As a country
feel 
staggering
and
foreign
and 
unreal.  

Yet,
As always, 
reality wins, 

Reality,
always
in its relentless 
invitation 
to presence.  

Let us go slowly, 
safely, 
as ease-fully 
as possible
forward,
just one day
one thing,
one breath
at a time.

Let’s keep focused 
right here, 
right now,
as best we can.

We are equipped.
We are able.
We will find our way.
We are finding our way.
More will be revealed.
More is being revealed.
And that is the truth of it.

Annie Lamott 
Says it:

~~~

Inspiration

How do we keep inspired, connected to ourselves, to our hearts, to each other?

How do we keep connected to each other’s hearts?

This New Year Prayer, 2021, touched me greatly.  By Roshi Joan Halifax from Upaya Zen Center in New Mexico, says it all:

~~~

May we realize that this earth is sacred and live accordingly.

May the suffering arising from oppression, hatred, and fear be righted and remedied.

May all those in the grips of insecurity be released to the safety of understanding.

May those weighed down by grief be given over to compassion.

May those lost in delusion find relief in the path of wisdom.

May all wounds to forests, rivers, deserts, oceans, all wounds to the earth be witnessed and healed through our right action.

May we work for the ending of suffering from consumerism, the climate catastrophe, war, economic disparity, racism, sexual violence, and the abuse of children. 

May those in refugee camps and prisons find their way home, with our support. 

May those who are alone or abandoned by friends and family, and those who are unsheltered find a safe and loving harbor in community. 

May we have deep time in practice with each other and in the solitudes, to be taught by sangha and by silence, so that we have the courage and equanimity to be a source of love and wisdom for all beings.

May we all have the health, wisdom, and energy to serve in the years ahead. 

May all awaken and awaken others.

—Roshi Joan Halifax

~~~

Is there one line that grabs your heart?

Perhaps consider one.  

Or two.
That draws you.
I am most touched by the final sentence, May all awaken and awaken others.
How can I live into that intention, for this upcoming week?
How can you?
~~~

On another note—forgive me, I am old.  I look backward to music for solace.  These guys brought me some this week.  I’m laughing to myself.  This is a revealing choice for me to show you: