Be Here Now
The Counterculture Bible, by Ram Das

I don’t remember buying the book and I don’t remember reading the book.  I do remember getting wildly and regularly stoned alone in my married suburban New Jersey apartment on those nights that P. was thankfully out.  I remember melting into the drawings; touching them, feeling them, becoming them.

Richard Alpert, now Ram Das, told me about sadhana, spiritual practice, and he told me about being in the moment.  Although I was a nice married Jewish girl teaching English in a suburban high school, although my furniture matched itself and my plates matched their placemats, inside of me I knew I didn’t match; somewhere inside of me, I knew I was a hippy, a flower-child.  I did not yet have the term, seeker.  I knew that something, that everything was missing. I did not yet have the term, lesbian.  I just knew that the outsides of my life did not match my insides.

I remember wanting what Ras Das so cleverly, so coyly seemed to have; I wanted spirituality more than anything, with a vague and a powerful passion.

Be here now, Ram Das invited me, us, all.  Be.  Here.  Now.  What does that even mean, I wondered?  I thought it was a beckoning to smoke more pot, surely the only way to hear the planets spin.  I had no inkling of the pain that was driving my addiction, the pain I was running from. That time would come. The unraveling of that pain would come. The seeker would emerge, more clearly, more readied for practice.

And as that time came, and as it continues to come, I continue practicing being right here, right now.

In this week, the hungry ghosts in me cried out, grasping for that which is not real, to fill that internal void that is already complete.

In this week, I return to Ram Das.

I practice remembering.

In his poem, the Time Before Death, Kabir, the great Indian mystic and contemplative, as translated here by Robert Bly, calls us into the moment by saying:

Living yoga is a call into life, now.  Not through any idealized mental construct—not someday, when we can meditate with a quiet mind, not when we can do that damn posture without regretting our limitations, not when we’re calm and chanting om in hideous morning traffic. Now, right here, right now.  As it is, each moment is a moment of grace.

The human experience is the doorway to the divine.

The headache, the anger, the allergy attack, the disappointment, the heartbreak, the traffic, the child who goes astray—all are doorways back to the Guest, that Kabir hearkens.  The salvation that he offers us comes from being where we are!  It is the most simple of practices, and, oh, we are such complicated beings.

I have adored Kripalu Yoga, certainly not because of any achievements on the mat.  I love Kripalu Yoga, both on and off the mat because it so compassionately meets us in our moment, AS WE ARE.  Right here, right now, as we are.

It’s a giant, come as you are party!  Who knew?  I should be further along, is probably one of the more toxic curses I can offer myself today.

I should be thinner.

I should have more money.

I should….I should.

These ancient thought patterns blur and separate us from the solution, the salvation, in Kabir’s words.

Right here, right now, can we bless ourselves as we are?

Right here, right now, can we offer unconditional regard, not just to the people around us, but to ourselves?

Right here, right now, can we be here and seize the day, embrace the moment, however, we are showing up in it?

Here is a clip we use to show in our self-discovery programs, Robin Williams from the Dead Poet’s Society, 1989, made even more poignant by our oh, too early loss of Robin and his brilliance.  Give yourself these three minutes to watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi0Lbjs5ECI

Dear Folks, let us be kind to ourselves.  Let us practice being here, abiding what is, abiding ourselves in it. Here in this moment lives the lilac, sweeter than life itself, the honeysuckle, the hoot of the mourning dove. Here in this moment lives laughter and the breath of another. Here in this moment, yes, also lives the pain of the human dilemma, our needing to force and change and constrict. And here in this moment lives the freedom of our surrender.

How do you run?  How do you stay present?  It’s all sacred. It’s all inevitable. And how can you seize this day, and “jump into experience”?  Keep me posted. I am aruni@rnetworx.com.  Hearing from you is my blessing.

All kindness—
All love,
Aruni

A Shimmer of Hope?

Big Grey Look-Alike

Olly—Olly—Oxen–Free

Do you ever look back into your life and watch yourself doing something you loved, something you cherished, in the past?  I find myself on this green, soft, bird-chirpy morning thinking of a story I read on the opening morning of every Inner Quest Intensive. The IQI was a rich and delicious self-discovery program that I taught sixty blessed times, between the years of 1995 and 2015.

I see myself sitting on the teaching bench, the room filled with guests who are, at this point, wondering what the heck they are doing there.

I see myself picking up the old blue book, that weighty spiritual tome, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, by Robert Fulghum.

I see myself opening to page fifty-six, dog-eared by an ancient paper clip.

I hear myself reading to the group.

I feel them awakening to the words, softening into the story’s safety.

I feel the guests relaxing, opening, looking around, cautiously, hopefully.

Sitting here this morning, from the vantage point of this spring moment, I smile deeply into this memory, this blessed gift I have been given, the offering to others that which has so fully blessed me.

Fulghum’s story is about hiding too well in a game of tag.  Olly-olly-oxen-free is a call given in children’s games, announcing it is safe to come out of hiding. The story is about being so committed to the hiding that we forget to be found. It calls for a re-commitment to life, to living, to coming forth, to facing one another, an incredibly relevant message in this national moment of hyperpolarization.

At the same time, there is such brilliance and necessity in developmental, psychological hiding.  It protects us as the words of David Whyte, the poet, tell us:

Honoring the pain behind the hiding, acknowledging the brilliance of the strategies we developed to literally keep us alive, as we lean in the opposite direction, toward connection, toward honesty, this is the journey of the hearts; this is the longing of our souls.

Why wasn’t I going to tell my spouse about the lousy bloodwork report I got?

To avoid her inevitable questions about details, which I can never retain?

To avoid the shame of thinking I should have better blood, that I should be healthier?

What did I gain by telling her, by taking that scary leap, by sharing my shame and my fear?

Connection—oneness—support—honesty—a partner in moving forward.

Telling her was worth the risk.

And you, dear readers?

• How do you hide today?
• What is one tiny counter-step you can take, to lean in the opposite direction?
• Give your heart that gift.  Do it today.

Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free, that almost universal children’s beckoning, calls to the child in each of us, telling us we can come out of hiding.  We can come out into the open, without losing the game!

One breath at a time, everybody, let’s practice getting found.

Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free.

~~~

Dear Reader-Friends, please do keep in touch.  I am aruni@rnetworx.com.

Here’s a link to the wonderful David Whyte piece of Hiding, from his book, The Solace, Nourishment, and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.

Here is a link to my program, Quest for the Authentic Self, which is the Inner Quest Intensive revisited. Please consider joining me in September down in North Carolina at the beautiful Art of Living Center.

All blessings,
Aruni

Dearest Reader-People-Friends,

This is attempt numero tres for this week’s blog.  Initially, I tackled a few lightweight topics, like “forgiveness” and “living into your soul’s purpose”. Nothing lofty for me, in 800 words or less! Somewhere between looking for inspiration and wanting to go outside, I realized: MY INSPIRATION IS OUTSIDE.  So outside I did go, to indulge in the deliciousness of this long-awaited spring; for me, that means mowing, biking and walking.

It is infrequent in these past four years of my weekly postings that I have tap-danced between topics.  By the way, all the blogs live on my website, www.coacharuni.com/blog, good for the 2:00 a.m. insomniac amongst us—and I know you are out there.  But do check them out—I find it fascinating to hear how the strategies and practices over the years have stayed the same, while my voice, my relationship to them, has changed.

Since Ayurveda teaches us that repeated like behavior leads to imbalance and that unlike behavior takes us toward balance (Type A people out there, you do not need to do Type A yoga!), I am leaning toward less words this week.  No forgiveness or soul’s purpose for me, not now, not this week.

And since response to last week’s Happiness Challenge (check it out if you did not read) was so full-hearted, here is what you have been waiting for:

Last week I suggested that, for many of us, our tendency is to lean away from happiness, to participate in our own oppression.  Whatever form that takes for each of us (work, worry, the world, food, focusing on others, did I say worry?), happiness is available.  This practice is not to transcend the feelings, the hurt and heartbreak, the difficult and the disappointing. The way to the happiness is through these very feelings—they are the gateway drugs to full living.

As a practice, leaning away from the habitual behavior and leaning toward that which we choose to have in our life becomes our spiritual practice, one that can change the brain, the body, and behavior.  In that light, it is our responsibility to create the circumstances in which happiness can occur. With glorious spring as our backdrop, exploding colors and soft emerald grasses, what better time to practice?  Surely in a few weeks, we may not notice spring in the same way, it’s first bliss inevitably diminished by time. To draw on spring as the palette for our happiness practice, here are the details of this week’s challenge.  Here is my invitation, first to myself—

• To be outside each day, as much as I can.
• To do some physical outdoor activity (walk, bike, mow) daily.
• To breathe deeply into the spring air.
• To notice on purpose the gift of spring.
• To become aware of the moments that fling the doors of my heart open.
• To document those heart-bursts, with picture, word, sentence, and to share it with another.

Here is my documentation from yesterday afternoon.  Zac and I walked by the wetlands, clouds and earth and sky, all one.  This moment made me uber-happy!

Will you join me?  Take the Happiness Challenge II outside, let spring be the playing field.  Get out there, smell and feel, notice and absorb. Document the moments that burst your heart open.  Take a pix, write a sentence, breathe it in. Share it with another, share with me. Send the pictures onward, social media, to loved ones.  Share the happiness.

That’s the Challenge II.

Live into and love those springtime moments.

Be there for them.

And then, pass them on.

As always, please feel free to keep in touch.  I am aruni@rnetworx.com  As spring blossoms, let’s blossom our awareness of her glory; let’s partner with her in opening our hearts to this energy of renewal and rebirth.

All springtime blessings,
Aruni