From Zac Joseph Doodle
I’m a dog and I’m writing my mom’s blog. Things are happening inside her nose, a cold, is that the word?
She is very sad.
Sometimes stuff just happens inside our bodies’ pieces and parts.
I’m dead but I’m very much alive, too. And because I’m dead and alive at the same time, I wanted to remind you of some things. You funny and silly people, you work so hard at such easy stuff, like breathing, like relaxing, like letting go.
I want to remind you about what’s important, stuff like moving your body and fun and people you love and good, yummy treats. Oh! Bunnies. Bunnies smell so good. What smells good to you? Go toward that smell.
Here’s my list, what’s been important to me, Zac Joe Doodle, the dead-and-alive dog:
- Watching the wind come and go, as it dances around the yard.
- Feeling the changes in the warmth of the sun on your furry head when it creeps and crosses the sky.
- Seeing the shift in light as the day opens, peaks and slowly, slowly fades.
- Sitting next to the people you love so much more than anything, even bunnies—maybe touching their foot with your whiskers, your hindquarters against their side.
- Resting your head against your favorite toy, fun stuff can be so comforting, and hold us up so perfectly.
- Repeated patterns, ritual, the deep and warm knowing that dinner time will come as the light darkens, or when the car door slams, that most wonderful person in the universe is coming toward you again and again and again.
- Loving those special people, our people, as fully, as best, as wholly and truly as we can—human ambivalence irrelevant, banished—going for it, lean into loving.
- Having people who love you so much they are willing and able to help you leave this earth—that’s how much they love you.
- Being able to support and love your peoples, even when they split up and break your heart, even and especially when they break their own hearts.
- Letting each moment be as it is—if it’s that nasty next-door neighbor dumb-dog barking at me, if it’s one of their stupid chickens walking on my lawn, letting each moment be.
Oh, there are many things I loved about being alive, especially my mommies. I had two mommies, that’s how special a dog I am.
I won’t be watching the wind—I am the wind.
I won’t be feeling the warmth of the sun—I am the sun.
I won’t be lying on the porch, my porch, legs crossed, watching the light in the day.
I am the light in the day.
And I won’t hear my mommies’ car door slam anymore.
I won’t be barking and running around in glee because they are coming in the door.
I am deep inside my mommies’ hearts.
I am my mommies’ hearts.
I live there.
I told my Mommy Aruni to pay attention, to watch me, to see how I surrender, how I will leave, how I let life be.
I tell you all now, pay attention—don’t waste time working too-too much. Don’t waste time wanting life to be different. Don’t waste time worrying.
Relax and breathe. Nap on the sofa. Look out the window.
Listen for the sound of your loved-one’s car driving down the road, their footsteps on the porch, how they smile at you.
Live into this moment.
I told my mommies I would live until I die.
I did that.
You guys, do that, too!
Don’t’ sit around and wait.
Live into your life.
Savor the lessons.
It’s all coming to bless you.
And if you need help, just call for me.
I’m right here.
I’m your friend,
Zac Joe Doodle the Dog
Oh, p.s. Mommy Aruni says, if you heart has been broken, if you have been disappointed and hurt and scared because of something you lost, something that’s changed, something that’s different, come take our program, Savoring Life’ Lessons, Grief—Loss—and Renewal, December 13-15. I’ll be there!